All you really need to know about this episode: Bette and Tina had sex. Though knowing you the way I do I know you want more. Don't you? OK fine.

- Tina and Bette go to Tina's doctor appointment together. Helena of course isn't pleased but Bette is thrilled to be included and to see the sonogram. It's nice because Tina and Bette even hold hands a little and smile sweetly at each other. Then Bette is helping Tina put groceries away in Tina's apartment. Now, a cynical mind would say the next sequence of events is caused by pregnancy hormones, a more romantic mind (which I currently have) would say that it's caused by Tina trying to figure out what exactly she wants since she obviously still loves Bette.

So there they are putting groceries away and they hug each other. Chalk it up to being emotional over the sonogram and their upcoming baby, whatever. Then Tina kisses Bette. Tina is totally in control of the situation. They kiss and it's soft and sweet and then it progresses and they have all kinds of sex. It was lovely. I quite enjoyed it. Afterwards they were a bit awkward with one another as Bette said she knew that just because they had sex that didn't mean they were suddenly back together.

Later Helena shows up at Tina's and Tina literally tries to jump her bones. She wants to fuck and she wants to fuck now (now whether or not she's showered since she and Bette went at it I don't know). B had said earlier that Tina was acting like a ho and I said no she wasn't because she'd only slept with 2 people since the show began, the same number as Bette. But then when she tried to jump Helena I said to B "*Now* you can say she's acting like a ho." But Helena wasn't having any of the jumping. Tina accused her of not being interested in sex unless their is an audience and/or not being the aggressor. Tina is absolutely right on this score. Helena is completely uninterested in the sex or the fight and says that Tina is just hormonal. I personally think Tina was trying to fuck Bette out of her system. I think being with Bette during the sonogram and having sex with her reminded her how much she loves and misses her. But what do I know? Later Helena and Tina sort of make up and Helena shows Tina the nursery that she's had created in her house so that when Tina and the baby stay over they will be comfortable. Presumptuous much? At the same time Helena is showing off the nursery she's had built Bette is finishing the nursery that she's being working on. Bette's nursery seems like much more Tina's style than the over the top madness at Helena's.

- Alice likes sex toys. A lot. She's ready to bring them into the bed with Tennis Player. Tennis Player is hesitant. Never mind I can't even write about this. I mean that's just too much even for me. So I'll just let you use your imagination on this.

- To open the episode Carmen & Jenny have sex on the toilet. It's as disturbing as it sounds and I only tell you this to drive home the point that Jenny and Carmen have been fucking a lot. As they've been fucking Jenny's feelings for Carmen have grown more and more while Carmen still really just wants Shane. Jenny finds this out in the dumbest way possible. While looking for crap in Fucking Sleazy Creep's room she finds a tape/dvd/media format of your choice that is labeled "Shane Carmen Love Confession" or something like that. Boy is smart enough to clandestinely place cameras throughout the house but stupid enough to label shit like that? Please. Just please. At least Jenny finally has a broken heart. After Tim, and Marine Boy and Trapeze Artist it was really time. She spills all this to the homophobic actor from last week who is really just a closet case. He sort of hired her and then sort of didn't fire her after she weepily confessed to her broken heart and he weepily confessed to outing the only man he ever loved to the tabloids and ruining his career. So she won't be ghost writing his memoirs. At least I don't think so.

- There is some boringness with Shane cutting Fucking Sleazy Creep's hair, Shane not doing Crazy Bitch's hair (even though she was supposed to be) and Kit getting stood up by a married Mr. TOE (his marriage is confirmed this episode). After getting stood up Kit goes to an AA meeting and who should be leading it? Ivan. Ivan then takes her to a strip/burlesque club where Ivan's woman is a dancer. Ivan and this woman have been together for five years. Kit is pissed when she finds this out because Ivan was trying to romance her like 6 minutes ago and never mentioned this dancer woman. Ivan says monogamy doesn't work for him/her and he/she would have mentioned it to Kit if they'd made any progress on the romantic front. Hmm huh.

- Fucking Sleazy Creep takes a sample of the footage that he's shot secretly to his producer. And by producer I mean the porn producer who has already given him an advance. The producer is pissed because the sample footage doesn't include any sex. Seems Fucking Sleazy Creep doesn't want to make porn, he wants to make a ground breaking documentary about lesbians that will surely get him into Sundance. The porn producer wants hot lesbian sex. Fucking Sleazy Creep is going to have to pay back the advance now. Boo fucking hoo.