Dec
13
As Legal As They'll Let Us Be
After 12 years, 3 states, 5 apartments, 1 house and a dog, B and I are as legally bound as we can be. We finalized and signed wills, living wills, powers of attorney, health care surrogacy directives and all the other necessary documents with our lawyer today. Those who listen to MacBreak Weekly will understand when I say this process cost a little more than an Alex. That ain't cheap but of course it's better than one of us losing everything should something unfortunate happen to the other or perhaps even worse being shut out of medical decision making for each other should one of us become incapable of making those decisions for ourself.
I'm happy and relieved that we've done everything we can to protect ourselves and our life together but I'm angry that we had to jump through so many hoops and it still doesn't feel like it's enough. It still feels like it will be ten times more difficult on us than it should be if/when we have to whip out things like the health care surrogacy and powers of attorney. There's nothing else I can do about it though so I'm just going to be grateful that we are financially able to do these things we need to do. Maybe my next project should be fundraising for a non-profit whose sole purpose would be to give money and free legal help to couples who can't afford to hire an attorney to draft all these legal documents.
I'm happy and relieved that we've done everything we can to protect ourselves and our life together but I'm angry that we had to jump through so many hoops and it still doesn't feel like it's enough. It still feels like it will be ten times more difficult on us than it should be if/when we have to whip out things like the health care surrogacy and powers of attorney. There's nothing else I can do about it though so I'm just going to be grateful that we are financially able to do these things we need to do. Maybe my next project should be fundraising for a non-profit whose sole purpose would be to give money and free legal help to couples who can't afford to hire an attorney to draft all these legal documents.
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About this Entry
Michelle published this on December 13, 2007.
Holiday Open House Fundraising Results was the previous entry.
Not the Same Old Lang Syne is the next entry.
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First: Congratulations!
Second: I have to have hope that things will turn out for the best, but I know how patronizing it can seem when people tell you to have faith that things will change, so I'm not going to do that. I don't understand how more people - queer or otherwise - aren't more upset about this, and as someone who can pass by virtue of heterosexual privilege, I feel like I'd be doing a grave injustice if I didn't use that privilege to try to get the laws changed.
Then again, should the two of you ever decide to come North and get married, I'll simply say that Vancouver is simply lovely in August. :)
Yes but how is Vancouver in June? We're coming to Seattle in June and either you're coming to see us in Seattle or we're coming to see you in Vancouver. Or both.
Yes, there are a lot of hoops. But Congratulations for taking care of it. I know of too many horror stories happening to same-gender couples who haven't taken the proper legal steps.
Thanks J. You're right that there are far too many horror stories out there. Fear of being one of them is what prompted me to finally get this taken care of for us.
Who knew "as legally bound as we can be" could sound romantic?
I'm bummed that it took more than 2 years after your ceremony to get to this status when, for some of us, we could get that in 5 minutes with an elvis impersonator and a side of wings.
Congratulations!
A lot of us take for granted how easy it seems to go about our lives until we're smacked in the face with a tragic event and our second-class status is waved in our face.
I applaud you for jumping through the hoops. It's such an enormous task which many of us are easily discouraged by. But it is so so important.
Hey you! Big huge congrats- what a relief that all must be to have it done and behind you.
(Also big huge apologies for not seeing this until now- my Dec got way out of hand, and so far, my Jan's been the same).