Goodbye to Pork Blowout, 24 Hour Fast on Weekend Agenda

Do I know how to write a headline or what? This long post is entirely related to my conversion. You've been warned.

Yes my friends it's true. My 32 year affair with pork is ending on Saturday. I wouldn't call it a love affair because I'm just not that into pork. I like it sometimes and some ways but I'm not like one of these people who'd be happy having bacon at every meal. In any case giving up pork is my first concrete step toward observing kashrut, keeping kosher. Giving up pork won't be a huge sacrifice for me because as I said I just don't love it that much. The lone exception to this will be family gatherings because I come from a family of pork lovers. Ham is pretty much a given at any family gathering. However since my ultimate goal is to get back to eating meat only very rarely it shouldn't be that big of an issue. There is so very much debate over kashrut and there are as many different ways of observing it as there are Jews. From orthodox observance complete with two sets of dishes, two sets of silverware, two refrigerators, two ovens, etc to observances defined only by the not eating of pork. I'm not saying anyone way is right or wrong. I've got to find my own path and my own way of being a Jew and giving up pork is a step towards doing that.

Since it won't be that much of a sacrifice for me it seems a little silly to consciously indulge in pork one last time and make almost a ritual event out of it but it feels like the right thing to do. My rabbi encouraged it even. So on Saturday morning we're having Little Piggies (sausage) at Cafe Beignet and Saturday afternoon we're having pulled pork barbecue at a picnic. I may go to Proof on Main for country ham fritters tomorrow for lunch as well.

On Saturday evening, after having pork at every meal, I begin a 24 hour fast in observance of Tisha B'Av. Tisha B'Av is a day of deep mourning and it will be the first holiday that I will have observed in synagogue. The service, and the fast, starts late in the evening after sundown. I'm not sure how long the service will last but as I mentioned the feast is a 24 hour one (one of two 24 hour fasts in the Jewish calendar). Tisha B'Av is really interesting day for me as a convert because I didn't grow up knowing the historical stories about the sufferings of the Jewish people. In essence I will be mourning events and situations I only came to know about quite recently. At first that seemed a little presumptious of me. Like how could I really have any emotion, other than that of an outsider, about these events and situations and their historical and contemporary impages on Jews? What I've come to realize though is that it's like being part of a family in a couple potential ways.

First, though I didn't grow up with B's family I still mourn and am sad over negative things that happened in their past. So even though I came late to the family when she mourns or weeps over things from her family's past I mourn and weep with her and can feel it. If one marries or is adopted into a family they gain access and right to the family's past both the positive and the negative. I am entering the Jewish family.

Second, if one of my cousins or aunts shared with me something tragic they were mourning that happened long ago and that I was previously unaware of I would mourn with them. Though there would be a level of separation between the event and myself I would still have deep feelings of sympathy and mourning for my family member.

Keeping those two things in mind have helped me formulate my feelings on Tisha B'av and how I can observe it as a convert. I'm looking forward to it. I'm also very much looking forward to high holidays but more on that later. The pressing question for the moment is will I be strong enough of constitution to actually fast for 24 hours? It's supposed to be a total food and water fast. I'm going to try my very best but if at some point I feel like I really need some water I'm not going to beat myself up for it.

There's an idea of "not yet" that's come up in my study. The idea is that if someone asks if you keep kosher or observe Shabbat (or someother question about your observance level) the answer doesn't have to be yes or no. "Not yet" is a perfectly valid answer. It's means you're working on things. So if someone asks me next week if I've completely observed the fast for Tisha B'Av it will be just fine if I need to say "not yet."

In other news the interwebs did not let me down when it came for looking for a Jewish mentor. While I'm still hoping to find someone in Louisville to talk with and observe some rituals with a friend of a friend put me in contact with a Conservative female rabbi and we're corresponding. She's incredibly smart, a feminist and just really, really nice. We're having some back and forth about questions or issues I'm having and it's really just great. Thanks interwebs and NeoG specifically.

B and I have taken to reading alound from The Book of Jewish Values: A Day-By-Day Guide to Ethical Living each morning over breakfast. The book has one very small chapter/lesson/value for each day so it doesn't take long but they have almost all resonated deeply with us. Reading them in the morning allows us to think about them all day and then come back and discuss them more deeply over dinner and later into the evening. I am really enjoying this new aspect of our life.